The MOSHer

I know what it's like to envision oneself as a great do-er of things.  I'm also quite acquainted with not possessing the resources needed for such grand visions.  So, I understand the role of the "Mover and Shaker" within the realm of Hollywood, and I don't blame them in their quest to make it big. It's something we all aspire for.

I just blame them for not telling us the truth.

It's a practice as old as the industry.  Person with real artistic talent is approached by person with no artistic talent, who desires a partnership whereas both can benefit.  The artist handles the creative end, while the non-artist deals with the business end.  As long as the particulars of the partnership are agreed to at the onset, and the agreement is mutually fair to both parties, then the team may continue forth and conquer the Town -- or at the very least try.   The artist (whether it be a writer, musician, or filmmaker) is clear in his or her talent.  Their website, Soundcloud, YouTube, or simply files on the laptop can verify their abilities without question.  But the MOSHer....

Well, that's another story.

More often than not, they procure a "beginner's card", as I like to call it -- either a generic business card from an entertainment or production company with their name and number scribbled upon it, or a poorly and cheaply conceived card of their making with a bad logo, vague contact intel, and the title of "president" or "CEO" below their name.  Look, my company (BeelineMedia) is a one-man operation, and sometimes finances can be tough, but at the very least I put in the hours to produce well-designed cards and websites.  It means a great deal to me.  It's a first impression, and that impression screams "quality", not "Kinko's".

Then there's the language. Phrases such as "It Sizzles", and "Money in the Bank" launch from their vocal orifice faster than a Sidewinders from an F-18 fighter jet.  Not unlike the car salesman trying to drop a crap Nissan Cube atop your platinum card, the MOSHer has a product to sell in HIMSELF -- and like the Nissan Cube, it might not be exactly what you want. But it sounds good, and that "sensible" Honda Civic across the street doesn't offer nearly as much "uniqueness", "convenience" and "cool factor" as the ice chest on wheels parked directly before you.  So, rather than asking for the Car Fax (I hate that stupid commercial), or "Card Fax" in the case of the MOSHer, you accept his or her words on face value, and venture ahead with your new buddy, ready to clean the studios of their money.

Of course, if you HAD asked for that Card Fax -- or prior credentials and proof that the MOSHer can, in fact, accomplish everything he or she promises they can achieve -- you'd find out they live with either their mom or three other roommates, take the bus to work, which is a waiter job at El Torito, and have very little experience in closing deals, let alone opening the right doors.  More often than not, they met somebody who knows somebody who can make a phone call to the secretary of the assistant vice president of telecommunication for the company of the step brother of the head of Paramount Pictures.

Why not just say, "Look. I'm a nobody.  But I know people who are somebodies.  If you allow me, I'd love to present your script/music/film to these people. I promise I'll push it hard. I can't guarantee anything, but I'll try my very best. One never knows.  Some great things have come from the most remote of chances."

MOSHer translation: "Babe. You pages leap out at me! This sizzles. It sustains! Here's my card. I'm a producer. I know people. I can open doors. This can make you rich, babe! I can make us millions!"

......?

Waitaminute.  You know.....